Slipping Away

Well, if there’s one thing that can be said about all people it’s that no one wants to hear something’s wrong with them. It’s common knowledge, wrong = bad. Lately..I’ve been feeling less in control than usual. I know, I know..no one’s REALLY in control of anything, but shouldn’t I be in (somewhat?) control of my thoughts and feelings? It kind of feels like I’m not really ME anymore, it’s kind of hard to explain. I know that sounds weird, “You’re you but not you? Um…?” and is a bit confusing, but that’s my current feeling on life right now. Something’s not right, and I’m not quite sure what’s wrong, maybe it’s just me or maybe it’s everyone.
I feel like part of me is slipping away…my creative part to be exact. Every time I draw or write something it seems I’m correctly it about a thousand times over. It used to be: I would write/draw something and that was that, I didn’t have to go back and “fix” everything little thing about it, until it became something else entirely.

So, what else is up with me besides my mental state going to ruins? Well, nothing much actually. My life is pretty damn boring it seems. I mean, all I did yesterday was READ when I got home, I didn’t bother to answer anyone’s texts or anything…speaking of which! TEXTING! Why does every single person have to text?! Whatever happened to just plain old phone calls? Or talking face-to-face? Our versions of contact with people have completely changed in the last like five years, and to tell you the truth I’d rather actually talk to someone then text..you lose all emotion in text! Oh, yes I know..you have emoticons and actions and stuff, but it’s really not the same.

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5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Watch Afro Samurai
    Feb 24, 2010 @ 05:24:48

    I usually don’t write comments on posts, but your post encouraged me to praise your blog. Thanks for the read, I’ll bookmark this blog and visit occasionally. Cheers.

    Reply

  2. Jinan Zeidan
    Mar 07, 2010 @ 08:24:12

    Hey there…:)
    well, someone needs to be cheer up a little I guess huh?
    1st I wanna thank you for you LOVELY and NICE comment you left on my blog, I’m thankful for that..:D…
    2nd, let’s see..mmm.. Ok! I know the feeling you felt while writing these words I feel the same from time to time though ‘m surrounded with lovely people, But I always make control on my negative feelings… I know that sometime you feel as if you are the only one who’s living on this earth, and you feel that no room to you in other’s life, and sometimes you feel you are so lonely though you ahve people around you, but it’s just a feeling that you feel and you can’t help but to feel it, sometimes there is reasons behind it other times no , it would be just a feeling to feel….
    I read between the lines while reading your words,and I can tell that behind these words, there is a lovely sad girl , but it’s good to write , good to read, it helps…. I enjoyed your honesty while reading your post … I hope you can make control on your negavtive feelings, it would be hard at the begining but TRUST me, you will get over it..I slo agree with you about the text thing 😉

    Reply

    • viviantlyours
      Mar 07, 2010 @ 13:50:25

      Thank you so much! It’s nice to hear that from somebody 🙂 It IS kind of hard for me to write out stuff like this, I’m not very good at expressing emotion. At all.
      Your blog is so good! I read a bunch of your posts a couple of days ago and I keep going back for more! I love Bleeding Steps the most, though. I truly can relate to that, and it’s nice to see someone writing about something…that’s not exactly politically correct, ya know?

      Reply

  3. Jinan Zeidan
    Mar 08, 2010 @ 10:39:00

    You are more than welcome vivian..:) I’m so much happy that I write articles that translate others feelings, I know how hard is to try to express about what you want to say & you can’t, it’s like as if these wrods (the unspoken words) you need to say but you can’t , it’s killing you deep inside.. That’s why I express about what I feel through writing.. I write since I was 10 years old.. But with time I’m getting better after all these years… I started writing in English from one year ago only, sometimes I have a feeling that I can’t translate it in Arabic, I feel easy to write it in English more,,..
    If you would like to read all the English posts just click on the English categorie on the right side , and you will read all the English posts… ( I love personally:” In A Place Called Heaven” ) I don’t know if you read that one or not yet.. I hope you like it…
    I’m so happy that my words are affectting you in someway, I will keep writing in English, and I truely hope you will like all my coming posts……
    Just be happy Vivian, And keep smiling… I’m glad I had the chance to know you… Have a wonderful week.. Take care..

    Reply

    • Shelby Darling
      Mar 08, 2010 @ 17:43:09

      Thank you so much 🙂 And you can call me Shelby, “viviantlyours” is just a misnomer, it’s not actually my name. I will so read “In a Place Called Heaven”! I didn’t notice the English category, though – otherwise, I probably would have already read it- Your writing is so good, you really can express emotion through your words, I wish I could write like that.

      Reply

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