Blonde Jokes :)

Some silly, stupid blonde jokes! I’m sorry if you’re a blonde, but so am I…am I’m not offended 🙂

Why did the blonde put lipstick on her forehead?
Because she was trying to make up her mind.

What do smart blondes and UFOs have in common?
You always hear about them but you never see them.

What happened to the blonde ice hockey team?
They drowned at spring training.

A blonde is terribly overweight, so her doctor puts her on a diet. “I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you’ll have lost at least 5 pounds.” When the blonde returned, she shocked the doctor by losing nearly 20 pounds. “Why, that’s amazing!” the doctor said, “Did you follow my instructions?” The blonde nodded, “I’ll tell you though, I thought I was going to drop dead that 3rd day.” “From hunger, you mean?”, asked the doctor.” “No, from all that skipping.”

Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and The Titanic?
A: They know how many men went down on The Titanic.

Q. What’s the difference between butter and a blonde?
A. Butter is difficult to spread.

Q. What did the blonde’s right leg say to the left leg?
A. Nothing, they haven’t met!

Q: Why did the blonde keep a coat hanger in her back seat?
A: In case she locks the keys in her car.

Q: What would you do if a Blond threw a hand grenade right at you?
A: You’d pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: Why did the blonde tip-toe past the medicine cabinet?
A: She didn’t want to waken the sleeping pills.

Q: Do you know why the blonde got fired from the M&M factory?
A: For throwing out the W’s.

How do you drive a blonde crazy? Have her organize M&M’s in alphabetical order.


3 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Wan
    Apr 01, 2010 @ 21:37:53

    Good night, Happy Fool’s Day!!

    A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him. He immediately apologized and explained, “I’m sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her.”
    “Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!” she screamed.
    “Funny,” he muttered, “you even sound exactly like her.”

    Happy April Fool’s Day!


  2. Soni Singh
    May 05, 2010 @ 02:04:29

    What a fun Ha Ha Ha ha. . . .


  3. panovision101
    May 01, 2011 @ 17:37:07

    Very nice – it seems these jokes have now been proven scientifically to be true


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