One Thing

I have one thing (or at least one topic) to say in this blog: you don’t know me..and you never truly will. That goes out to everyone, including my family/friends, I do mean EVERYONE. I’ve become the girl everyone wants to know and be around, I act day after day and believe me..I’m a freaking ace at it. People know fake-Shelby, not the real one. If I was “real” around people..they’d want me institutionalized. No. Kidding. Sometimes I actually think I should be put in a mental house..but then I think of the happiness I bring to other people. That’s what truly keeps me going and I will continue to hold on to that idea. People NEED me, maybe only in a very, very minuscule way but at least that’s SOMETHING. Something is better..than nothing, I would like to think – so don’t burst my bubble people. You’re only making it harder on me. I have those days when the truth comes crashing down (this happens to be one of those, hence the angry/upset blog) and I realize I’m not NEEDED, just wanted so I can make OTHER people, who generally are the ones who make my day hell, mind you, happy! Now, where the fuck is the justice in that?! The answer is: it keeps me going, so should I really be bitching? No. Not at all. But, it still feels unfair to me at times…God, does it make me so angry sometimes! I just can’t understand why some people (like me) have so much expected out of them! Once you set the bar high enough, you can never get away from it – you must ALWAYS meet your mark. There’s no re-dos, no second chance. I envy people who are slackers, or just lazy. You get a LOT, you know. Whereas, the people who work their asses off for others..they don’t really get much at all. There never seems to be anything in return for us.
-Shelby-

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