Well, hell…

Can’t we just go back to simpler times? I’d rather be 7 again…well, maybe not 7. I was still pretty mature at that age, too.

Growing up too fast really freaking sucks, just by the way.

I don’t wish I was baby, either…I mean, who wants to be a baby again?! Yeah, you’re completely taken care of and you don’t have to do anything, but that just seems kinda suck-ish. Just saying.

Well, if you can’t figure out for yourself by my depressive opening, I had a kinda crappy day.

I think I just need sleep..not sleeping in a business week takes it’s toll on a girl, majorly. I’ve got bags on bags on bags underneath my eyes…I look like I’ve been strung out on drugs for the past 10 years, or something.

Needless to say, it’s not good. I need sleep, but short of taking 10 Tyenol PM’s, I’m not going to be able to get sleep! Nothing helps! Maybe I should go see a doctor about that..hmm.

Anyways, no sleep = cranky, which = being mean to people, which = getting grounded for backtalking/acting up…

Great. Just freaking great. My attitude reflects my lack of sleep, so I’m constantly bitching and whining about something

Not that that’s much different than my usual self 🙂    (completely kidding, I’m actually quite nice)

*sigh* Maybe, just maybe, I can get some sleep tonight…I shall try! (I don’t know what exactly “trying” will entail, but still)

What else happened today?

Well, really nothing…I kinda just lounged around waiting for something awesome to happen since this summer pretty much just sucks already! I need to go hang out with somebody.



Mommy & Heart = Not Okay

This day cannot get any freaking worse. I. Swear.

My mom left last night to spend the night with her boyfriend, Eric. Yeah, thanks mom for just ditching your daughter and eldest son whenever you freaking please

And then I felt really crappy for thinking that, because…

At around 11 today, my mom called me and told me she needs to go the ER and she asked me to drive her. I didn’t really think anything of it because my mom has a lot of disablities (I’ll list them some other time) and I take her to the doctor a lot. No biggie, right?


I get downstairs and my mom is almost not breathing. She starts saying that her chest is killing her, she’s dizzy and that her arm is going numb. Now, if ya’ll know anything about heart attacks…that’s a sure sign.

I (obviously) rush her to the hospital and they just took her right in..past triage and everything. They gave her more nitroglycerin then they gave my grandma in a month.

I’m freaking out by then. Like, seriously freaking out. I might joke how my mom might possibly hate me, but..this was something else entirely. She then sent me outside to make phone calls to people, because the doctor came in..and she HATES me knowing what’s wrong. She knows I worry. A. Freaking. Lot.

So, anyways – since my younger two brothers are still in New York, I called my older bro and he kept trying to unsuccessfully calm me down..I was on the verge of having a panic attack.

I then called Jesse..and I just started bawling on the phone. He didn’t answer the first time I called, so I called again and he finally freaking answered, and I couldn’t even say what was going on, I just started crying so freaking hard. I literally was on the phone just crying into his ear…and he just sat and listened, instead of hanging up like a normal person. I seriously love him sometimes, and I’m completely thankful for him. He’s the best friend anyone person should be envious of. He ACTUALLY got me to calm down enough to go back into my mom’s ER room.

Turns out: she was having major coronary problems. They wouldn’t flat out say “heart attack”and she was admitted into the hospital. She then proceeded to kick me out of the room and sent me home.

So, now I’m at home worrying about her and hoping she’s okay..and I really just don’t..I don’t know what to think. Of course, in her typical “Mom” fashion she told me that she’ll be fine. She was crying when she said that and she expected me to believe her?